Thursday, January 23, 2014

Until then... {Gratitude}

My heart has been so filled with the kind responses I received from this post, (where I shared about grieving the loss of our baby and struggling to remain hopeful for another baby).  Thank you from the bottom of my heart...

When I'm trusting God, I have full confidence that He has another baby in store for our family.  And until then...  I'm finding helpful ways to keep myself proactive so I can endure the wait a little easier.   First is with gratitude--and in tomorrow's post I'll share the more practical things I'm doing to at least feel like I'm doing something toward growing our family.

(Keep in mind, the things below aren't helpful to use to try to comfort a friend who has lost a baby--saying things like, "At least ______," can be pretty painful.  Let her journey to find these things on her own...)



{Gratitude...}
-I'm cherishing this one-on-one time with my peanut.  Being able to invest solely in her right now is a gift I can give her each day.  I know I'll miss this time someday, and want to remember how special it is.

-I've just been extra thankful for Ellie's life in general, after losing our little pistachio reminded me how miraculous each and every life is.  Being a mom is something I hope to never take for granted.

-It means a lot to me that my husband and I are in this together.  There was a period where David wasn't ready to try again after the miscarriage (from wanting to pay the bill from the ER and the emergency D&C), and that was especially hard for me.  So now I'm just thankful to actually BE trying.  Knowing that he wants this baby (almost) as much as I do :) means a lot, and even seeing his discouragement each month helps because I feel like he gets it, and it validates the discouragement I feel.  We can also encourage each other, be hopeful together, and talk about the roller coaster we're on with empathy and understanding.

-My baby is with Jesus and his Papa.  I'm so grateful our little babies are embraced into God's arms in heaven.  Being assured that I'll get to see my son or daughter someday (2 Samuel 12:23) gives me so much hope and fills my heart with even more love for that little one.  It's like, "Mama's coming for you little one!" :)  And it also comforts my heart to know that amidst the pain of missing my dad and missing my little baby--they're together.  It aches my heart that my dad didn't meet or get to know my Ellie Joy, so there's almost a sweetness to knowing he does know one of my little children.  (Don't you just wonder how they know they're family?  How I'll know which one is my child when I get there?  Amazing...)

I've definitely experienced first-hand why God talks with us so much in the Bible about being thankful in all things, and coming to Him with thanksgiving, etc.  It really makes such a difference in my heart.

What are ways that you stay positive while waiting for a baby--or waiting for anything you're longing for??

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